


I don't mind stealing bread

by anna_chronistic



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cheesy, Gen, Grunge, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Karaoke, Music, Post-Seine, Sorry Not Sorry, i honestly only wrote this fic just to make music references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-18 15:37:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20641553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anna_chronistic/pseuds/anna_chronistic
Summary: Technically, Valjean isn't lying.





	I don't mind stealing bread

As a 50-something cop, Javert wasn't the type of person to attend any kind of party. He was regularly tasked at finishing his work and planning ahead for the next day. In fact, the last concert he had been to was Alice In Chains back in 1992. Years had gone by, and for the most part he kept to himself.

One of the few people that he saw regularly outside of the police department was Jean Valjean.

Now Javert knew about Valjean's past, his criminal history, his years as a fugitive. But despite this, they were still friends and even joked about it from time to time. This is because Javert learned to be more forgiving after Valjean had rescued him from the Seine. After learning about the context of Valjean's situation, Javert (as stern as he was) began to see Valjean as just an ordinary person.

"Cosette is forcing me to go out more," Valjean said to Javert. "So I was thinking of going to karaoke night at the bar."

"Oh really. What song would you sing?" asked Javert.

"_Hunger Strike_ by Temple of the Dog," said Valjean.

"_I don't mind stealin' bread from the mouths of decadents_" Valjean sang.

"To be fair, you aren't lying," Javert pointed out the technicality.

"Come on, Javert. That was back in 1981," Valjean laughed. "I've definitely served more than enough time for _that_."

"Well good luck singing that song," said Javert.

"Well, Javert, the thing is that the song is best performed by, um..." Valjean hesitated a bit and blushed. "Two people." 

"Are you asking me to sing with you?" Javert asked rather directly.

"Maybe," Valjean teased. "You know this song, do you?"

"Of course I know this song. I'm a Gen X-er," said Javert.

"Great! Then your age group is the perfect target audience for this song."

"It might be for them, but not for me."

"Why is that?" Valjean asked.

"I never stole bread," Javert scoffed. And Valjean just stared at him.

"That can't be the real reason you don't want to sing this song," Valjean said wryly.

"Alright, you got me," said Javert. "I'm not really much of a singer. I'm more of a listen-to-the-radio-in-the-car-during-traffic kind of person."

"I don't think anyone who goes to a karaoke bar is gonna make it big on American Idol," said Valjean.

"Fair enough," said Javert.

"And I'll promise to tell Cosette's goofy-ass boyfriend not to put it on snapchat."

"Alright, I'll do it," said Javert. "I can't quite get the high parts, though. I have a pretty low voice."

"Then I'll sing Chris Cornell's part, and you can sing Eddie Vedder's part," Valjean suggested.

"Okay, I think that'll work."

**Friday at 10:15 pm**

The karaoke bar was lively with people who just got off their night shifts and a bunch of hipster students. Bahorel and Feuilly sang "Interstate Love Song" by Stone Temple Pilots. Marius and Cosette sang "Total Eclipse of the Heart". Joly, Bossuet, and Musichetta sang "Love Me Two Times" by the Doors. Éponine sang "Love is a Losing Game" alone, followed by Grantaire, who sang "Why Can't This Be Love" alone. Javert became tense as his turn came closer.

"You should so wear your hair down for this," Valjean suggested. "You'd look so grunge after you take off that librarian ponytail."

"That's not a librarian ponytail, for your information," Javert laughed. "And it sure as hell isn't now." Javert then took off his black hair band and put it around his wrist, and wildly shook his head like a biker chick that just took off her helmet.

"Coming up next to the stage, we have René Javert and Jean Valjean singing Hunger Strike!"

Valjean and Javert walked up to the stage hand in hand. The acoustic guitar in the intro played, setting the mood for what seemed like a placid soft rock song. When the first verse came about, Valjean began singing.

_I don't mind stealin' bread from the mouths of decadents_  
_But I can't feed on the powerless when my cup's already overfilled, yeah_  
_But it's on the table, the fire's cookin'_  
_And they're farmin' babies, while the slaves are all workin'_  
_Blood is on the table and the mouths are all chokin'_  
_But I'm goin' hungry, yeah_

And just like that, it was Javert's turn.

_I don't mind stealin' bread from the mouths of decadents_  
_But I can't feed on the powerless when my cup's already overfilled, uh huh_  
_But it's on the table, the fire's cookin'_  
_And they're farmin' babies, while the slaves are all workin'_  
_And it's on the table, their mouths are all chokin'_  
_But I'm goin' hungry_

Javert sustained the long note of the last word "hungry".

_Goin' hungry, yeah!_

Valjean sang an octave higher, joining Javert so that the two were singing simultaneously.

_I'm goin' hungry_

Javert sang the lower, longer note.

_I'm goin' hungry, yeah!_

Valjean echoed again. The pair repeated that two more times.

_I'm goin' hungry_

_Goin' hungry, yeah!_

_I'm goin' hungry_

_Goin' hungry, yeah!_

As the instrumental interlude played, it became more apparent that this was indeed a grunge song. Javert flipped his hair the way a lot of guitarists do when they want to look cool. Never has a police in their 50's looked so metal.

The song then went to the refrain.

_I'm goin' hungry (Goin' hungry, yeah!)_  
_I'm goin' hungry (Goin' hungry, yeah!)_

_Yeah, I don't mind stealin' bread_

Valjean sang rather passionately.

_I don't mind_

Javert echoed this time, holding the note "mind".

_No, I don't mind stealin' bread!_

Valjean sang the highest part of the song, his voice soulful and melismatic. His gaze locked onto Javert's vivid blue eyes as the two harmonized.

_I'm goin' hungry (Goin' hungry, yeah!)_  
_I'm goin' hungry (Goin' hungry, yeah!)_

Then a final guitar riff ended the song. There was some applause after that, mostly from Cosette and the hipster students.

**Friday 11:45 pm**

"Thank you for singing with me, Javert," Valjean said, putting his hand on Javert's shoulder.

"That song means a lot to me, you know. It reminds me of my life in Favorelles. You know, trying to help my family in this unfair, cruel world. My struggle to be a good person. It brings me back. And reminds me how far I've come since then. I just wish things had changed earlier," Valjean shed a tear, brown eyes shining. "Then just maybe my sister might still be alive today."

"I didn't realize how much that song meant to you," Javert said. That was all he could think to say at the moment.

"Behind every person is a story," Valjean said. "And I am so grateful that you have come to understand mine and Cosette's. No matter how many decades it took, it's still such a meaningful thing."

"And I have you to thank for that, Jean Valjean, for teaching me that lesson."

Valjean and Javert shared an emotional hug. It turned out that this night was more than just a karaoke night.


End file.
